Alexander's

Before I traveled through half of Japan to visit my very first traditional Buddhist wedding this weekend I got two good tips from my friends.[^1]

Try not to kiss the bride in front of the groom[^2]

and

I wanna know about all the details when you get back, you are after all my main source of Japanese drama.

Which made me wonder what kind of image I have among my friends here. Anyway the plan was behalve my best, make nice photos and don't disturbe the wedding under any circumstances!

For me that is a lot easier said than done. I always mess up the photos in one way or another and then there is my one and only big love -- Crazy Incidents. I can say with no little pride that Crazy -- as I lovingly call her -- and I have a very intimate and passionate relationship. When I feel down I know crazy will come to lift my spirits. She always knows when I need a slight disturbance in my oh so organized life and she seldom goes way beyond what I could take.[^3] Sometimes it seems like there are little Kobolds sitting on my shoulder, who enjoy it as much as I do when things go wrong in a very funny, but ultimately harmless, way. Sure sometimes you have to be able to take a beating and accept that you had fun but didn't get what you wanted, but until now the fun has always been worth the trouble.

The actual wedding was very different, very nice and I'm utterly unable to describe it in a reasonable way, so I'm not even going to try. As so often the pictures are on [Flickr][].

At the lunch, after the actual wedding, I was sitting opposite of grandma, who could only speak japanese in a dialect that is hard to understand, even for some japanese, next to the grooms mother, that couldn't speak a word of japanese and wanted to know what was going on and a young mother with her four year old daughter. Far away from the beautiful, potentially single and interested, girls on the other end of the table.[^4]

The fun part started when grandma try to hook me up with the young mother sitting to my left. Not by praising her virtues, or asking my opinion of her -- no she was trying to get the four year old daughter to admit, that I was nicer than her real father. When I finally was convinced, that I understood perfectly well what she wanted to say and it wasn't a simple misunderstanding, I nearly fell of my chair trying not to laugh.[^5]

Then after a fun night in 鹿児島　中央 (Kagoshima Chuo)[^6] my phone batteries died and I had forgotten my charger at the wedding. No way to contact me for the day. At least not until I arrived in Tokyo at around 20:00 that day. So I was quite surprised, when, after a fun but ultimately tiring day of travel through half of Japan, I opened my mail account and could read:

アレックス！待って！そのお箸はトーマスのです！[^7]

Apparently I had taken the grooms special wedding chopsticks and the best part was, that, because my phone battery died on me, I could not be reached for the entire day. I have no idea how important these special chopsticks really are, but judging by the number of mails, SMS, missed calls and Facebook messages I got, I guess quite important.

I'm also wondering what the symbolism behind accidently taking the grooms chopsticks is, for I'm not yet ready to be married. Although grandma told me in no uncertain terms, that the time was more than ripe for me -- speaking of which I got the chopsticks from the very girl she tried to hook me up with. If I remember correctly her word were:

Alex do you know which color your chopsticks where? I can't remember mine. There are only a red and a black pair left.

Turns out there were only two chopstick pairs left in the bag, because it was the wrong bag. The red chopsticks are the brides and the black ones are the grooms, so basically she took the bride's chopsticks and I took the grooms. Just thinking about the situation in the car, where we split the bridal chopsticks among ourselves, makes tears of laughter come to my eyes.

So a quick recap of the wedding in 出水 (Izumi):

• Stayed there one night
• Got stared at and photographed by the locals because of my strange appearance
• Grandma tried to hook me up with a nice girl through her four year old daughter
• Accidently took the special wedding chopsticks of the groom
• Got them from the very girl grandma tried to hook me up with
• Forgot the phone charger in the hotel
• Could not be reached because my phone's batteries died

Well at least I didn't find an extra ring in my pocket upon returning to Tokyo. Now I'm off to enjoy a glass of wine with my eternal love Crazy while listening to womaniser by Britney.

[Flickr]:

[^1]: Well actually I got more than two tips, but these two summarize all of them very well [^2]: I want to emphasize the "try" and "in front of the groom" part. [^3]: Recently I went out, met four very nice girls, who seemed interested in me and promptly tried to hit on the only girl with a friend among them. Not only did she have a friend, no she was married and pregnant in the third month -- Oh the fun! [^4]: Sometimes I wonder is there a little sign on top of my head that says "Please sit this guy next to people that he will not try to hit on"? [^5]: Good thing we were sitting on the floor so I couldn't possibly fall too far [^6]: A city at the very north end of the japanese mainland -- I'll probably write about that at a later date [^7]: Alex wait! These chopsticks belong to Thomas!