Alexander's

To get this questions I took a photograph of the test paper with my big SLR camera right infront of the supervising guy. I bet this already reduced my sanity score a lot, so I decided not to give any funny -- but true -- answers. Below is what I would have liked to write.
Everything is true but I was not sure wether they would understand. They are always watching and evaluating papers. Oh and I didn't even dare to wear the T-Shirt from the photo. Perhaps I'm getting more and more of a coward with every passing day.

Your replies' along with other students', to this questionary may be used for statistical analysis anonymously. The results of those analyses may be published to help promote students' mental health in general.

This questionary is for understanding and increasing of your mental health status. Please read the following items carefully, and circle "Yes" or "No" and fill out the blanks.

1. Have you been consistently depressed or down, most of the day, nearly every day for these last two weeks?
2. Have you been less interested in most things or less able to enjoy the things you used to enjoy most of the time for these two weeks?
   Yes. I'm not allowed to use the internet for anything but research, skype and mail. So I can't enjoy the internet which always was a big part of my life before I came to Japan.
3. Have you felt sad, low or depressed most of the time for these two years?
   Two years?!? How long have I been in Japan already?
4. Have you thought that you would be better off dead or wished you were dead?
5. Do you sleep well these days?
   No. I spilled bleach on my bed while cleaning and now I can't sleep and get terrible headache since I'm still inhaling the fumes.
6. Have you, on more than one occasion, had attacks when you suddenly felt anxious, frightened, uncomfortable or uneasy, even in situations where most people would not feel that way? Did the attacks peak within 10 minutes? Code Yes only if the attacks peak within 10 minutes.
   Yes going to Roppongi gave me all these within minutes and most people around seemed to enjoy themselves.
7. Have you ever been fearful or embarrassed being watched, being the focus of attention, or fearful of being humiliated? This includes things like speaking in public or with others, writing while someone watches, or being in social situations.
   Yes all of the above -- before coming to Japan. Now when I enter the subway people stare at me and then quickly look away, my tutor knows all my pincodes, the balance of my bank account and my utility bills, people take photographs of me and the only moment when I'm not being watched is when I use Skype.[^1] I humiliate myself every day in the cafetaria, when I have problems explaining what I want to eat-- half of the time I get something totally different from what I actually wanted to order. If I actually got what I wanted moste likely a japanese guy was helping me.
8. Have you taken drugs to get high, to feel better, or to change your mood more than once? If "Yes" show the name of the drug.
   Yes alcohol and cinnamon -- especially cinnamon. Extremely cool you will lough a lot, but get a friend to watch you and have the number of the emergency ambulance ready.
9. Have you worried excessively or been anxious about several things for these 6 months.
   No. Even when I came to Japan without knowing where I would sleep that night, my cash card didn't work, I had no money left and was so hungry that I was on the verge of fainting.
10. Have you ever believed that people where spying on you, or that someone was plotting against you, or trying to hurt you?
    Believed?!? There is a fucking webcam in my lab to spy on the students. By now I'm beyond believing -- I know!
11. Have you ever heard things other people couldn't hear, such as voices, when you were conscious?
    Yes I hear the security cameras. They make a high pinched noise that drives me crazy and none else seems to be bothered by it. Beyond that I have a T-shirt that says "I do whatever the voices in my head tell me to do"
12. Do you have any trouble with your daily life in Japan?
    Not really. But I can't read japanese, so if I want money I have to ask someone to translate what the ATM says, because there is no way to switch it to english and every ATM seems to have a slightly different menu -- just to annoy the gaijin. I bought bleach instead of toothpaste and butter instead of mayonnaise. I can't even use an electric toilet without completely wetting myself. But apart from these *small inconveniences everything is shiny.*
13. Would you like to consult with a doctor regarding above or other issues?
    Na, I'm fine. Actually I'm doing much better than a lot of the other foreign students I know. I'm perfectly fine with the japanese food,[^2] have a reduced subway pass and I get my scholarship in Yen so I'm not hit too bad by the financial crisis.[^3]

[^1]: apparently everyone here fears the evil white man behind the glass screen [^2]: apart from the little food poisoning I caught some time ago [^3]: Some of the other foreign students will have real problems because their money lost so much value