Alexander's

There is quit a difference between the Japan I know and love and the Japan my girlfriend knows and loves.

For her Japan consists mainly of cute things like Hello Kitty, Rilakkuma and super short and cute dresses, while my Japan is a mixture of traditional values such such as 合気道 (Aikido), 和室 (Washitsu) and 居酒屋 (Izakaya) with the modern addition of cool clubs and Love Hotels.[^1]

For me enjoying Japan to it's fullest just has to include a night or two at a 飲み屋 (Nomiya)[^2] -- a place of unrestrained happiness, where one can use less formal Japanese and just be oneself amongst a few friends.

Sure the food usually is a bit dubious^3 and the hygiene could be better, but this makes the alcohol just taste all the sweeter.

One beer -- and an Orange juice for my girlfriend ...

Dragging a strict anti alcoholic to a place like this gets me a few strange looks. And soon the first problem arises. The menu is totally cryptic -- I don't understand the badly scrawled Kanji on the wall and my girlfriend can tell me the meaning of the Kanji but not what the actual meal is.[^4]

Anyway I want to eat and nothing but the suspicious soup is coming, so I resort to the easiest method -- turn to my neighbor and ask in almost perfect Japanese:

Sorry but could you please tell what the green stuff you are eating is?

Not only do I get a name, no he also feeds me a piece with his chopsticks -- my girlfriend looks like she is going to die of shame.

So we order the innards soup, some roasted stuff on sticks, some roasted vegetables on sticks and another beer. It's fun, it's delicious and boy am I glad I have no idea what it is that I'm eating.[^5]

This is life how it is supposed to be!

But then someone spills some sauce on my girlfriends hand.

No problem Japanese restaurants are full of paper tissues and tiny towels to wipe your hands with, so she turns to the shopkeeper:

Do you have a tissue for me please?
What?
A tissue please?
Hu?

As she raises her hand to show him the problem -- he looks at the tiny dots, scratches his head and instinctively wipes his hand in his grubby apron

Oh a tissue -- I'm not sure

After some rummaging a box of tissues appears from behind some huge boxes. Apparently stored there in case a health inspector should ever dare to set foot in this dive.

On the way home she leans over and whispers in my ear:

You know maybe it's better if next time you go with some japanese guys.

[^1]: You can see at once how much more diversified my Japan is compared to her's. [^2]: The literal translation is drinking shop. [^4]: That or she can't believe people would actually eat stuff like this. [^5]: Last time I was out with a japanese guy I ate chicken skin, chicken cartilage, chicken heart and some stomach (probably chicken) [^6]: I'll just assume it was ribs from an animal I've never seen before (and probably never want to see alive)

Being a Christian country Austria has some very nice traditions in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Notably baking (and eating) cookies, getting together with friends and families, enjoying warm spiced wine and lighting candles everywhere. So generally it is supposed to be a time of peace, quiet and inner reflection.

But of course we all have our inner demons and too much quiet time gets boring fast. Also the kids have to learn that if they are too defiant hell will open up and demons will come forth. These demons rip naughty children to shreds, eat them alive or kidnap and later slowly roast them over the fires of hell.[^1]

And exactly that is the Krampus' job. Contrary to the German "Knecht Ruprecht" -- who is a sad, lonely and weak demon held under control by the saint Nikolaus -- our Krampi hunt in packs and there is no saint holding them back.

The only warning one usually gets is the ringing of their big bells, the jingle of their chains or the terrified screams of the little children they already caught.

In some areas they flog the naughty children with hazelnut rods or their long horsetail whips. In my home town it's customary for the brave children to try and ring the big bells on the Krampus' back when he is not looking.

Getting caught after ringing a their bells will end in bruises -- not getting caught will earn you eternal fame amongst your friends. So it really is a fair trade.

Even if you do not dare to venture close, looking one of these demons directly in the eye is an experience I can only recommend to everyone.[^2] It will most likely put the fear of God into you and the gentle saint Nikolaus, who comes on the next day and brings presents to the nice children that were spared, will be all the sweeter for it.

[^1]: We still believe in the concept of "Zuckerbrot und Peitsche" (飴と鞭 for all you Kanji guys) [^2]: If you did not have the chance to do it in person, you can look at some photos of the Krampus on my Flickr page.