Alexander's

I'm sure that all of you[^1] can remember the last time I got a parcel form back home. Someone[^2] forgot to add a name to my address and I ended up having a lot of fun explaining, that I'm indeed the person the package was addressed to. I even asked all my friends to really write all the important data on the address and not to forget the name, room number, house number, street name or other small things like that.

So I was very delighted when I found a new letter in my inbox, explaining that a certain Mr. Pauschenwein Gernot had a new parcel waiting for him -- Wait I'm Paulsen Alexander and Gernot is just a friend of mine from Austria. Incidentally the same friends whose girlfriend thought that in a small town of 12 million people, like Tokyo, a full address was overkill and gave the postman something to think about with an address in Western letters -- without my name.

I'm really glad I have such good friends. Not only do they regularly send me presents, no they also see to it, that my japanese skills get advanced by pitting me against our house keeper, that can barley talk english.

Yes I can definitely use the extra motivation. Nothing makes me learn as fast as a present I want to have and a house keeper that doesn't want to give it to me.

I go to the housekeeper and explain my situation. A friend from Austria send the parcel and there probably was a mixup with the credit card, or he could only send it to his own name or something like this, but I know him and want to pick up my parcel.

So when is your friend returning?
Never he is in Austria.
When did your friend return to Austria?
He never was in Japan.

This is going to be fun I can already sense it. Ten minutes, a quite good description what the parcel is, what might be inside and three signatures later he decides to give me my present and just as he hands it to me his eyes brigten up with understanding:

Is he your brother?
No why?
You have the same Name.

After fifteen minutes of explaining why there is a wrong name on the address, but it still is my parcel I find out he did never bother to read more than the first three letters?!? Apparently it was to bothersome to read all these strange Romanji. I could just have picked the parcel up and the house keeper would have never noticed!

[^1]: Ok at least the ones that can read German [^2]: I'm not mentioning names here

In Europe a lot of people lament how the youth is slowly loosing all traces of good manners and I have to agree. The youth of this generation is just not what it used to be. This of course raises the question what leads to a life full of virtue and moral and how did it get lost in just one short generation?[^1]

When I was in grammer school I often had to plow my way trough hip deep sow, up the mountain and trough the forest and to paraphrase Calvin and Hobbes' dad this definitely builds character![^2] But in the last few years there has not been one incident of hip deep snow, that I could witness. This definitely has nothing todo with the fact, that I'm a bit taller now -- hip deep snow always was and always will be an absolute measure!

The other alternative is a strict upbringing and God knows I was brought up strict. Just remembering my fathers latin lets me break into a cold sweat, not to mention the draconian punishment for bad table manners.[^3] Alas lately parents leave their offspring more and more often to the educating touch of a game console instead of taking manners into their own hands.

Japan society might just provide the perfect test bead to try these theories. There is no hip deep snow in Tokyo, but they have a very good school system, that tries very hard to quench every last thought of rebellion.[^4] Now someone might complain that the japanese society is too different from the European one to directly compare and I fully agree. I could never find my way around the cultural faux pas in this society -- if there wasn't a guidebook on decent behaviour. The 葉隠 (Hagakure), much like the Knigge in Austria and Germany, describes proper behaviour in the japanese society.

Some might argue, that it is longe since outdated, but I disagree. Based on the 12th century samurai code of honor and written in 1710, as a practical guide to every day behaviour, at least the main points should still be valid after a mere 300 years. The main points clearly being what is a very serve offense[^5] and how one should atone for one's mistakes.

Having read the whole book twice cover to cover, I at least have a faint idea of how amends should be made in Japanese society, so I was delighted to witness a misbehaving friend lately. Clearly she would have to redeem herself from her grave mistakes and really the next day I got a mail with the subject I'm sorry. Great now was the time to test my theory:

I must apologize about at the party last night. I remembered how I behaved crazy and impolite then. I disgraced [...] and you. I'm ashamed of myself.

Never before in my life have I felt so ashamed of being associated with someone. Not only the intolerable behaviour,[^6] no also the totally unacceptable way to try to apologize fills me with disgust. Is it really so hard to remember that the only valid way to wash away shame and disgrace is with blood?

So I conclude this experiment with the insight that walking home from school in hip deep snow is essential for a good upbringing. Therefore I fear for all the children that get dragged to subtropical islands in their winter holidays, instead of a little educational side trip to Siberia.

[^1]: obviously I'm still brought up in the tried and true system and not a kid of the new wave [^2]: I'm not exaggerating, otherwise I wouldn't mention the beautiful twin sisters on my way home, that sometimes took me in, in my parents stead, and served me hot drinks, when the snowstorm outside just got too heavy. [^3]: Or slandering around with some nice twin sisters [^4]: Everyone who has ever been to Harajuku can attest to it's success [^5]: basically everything but strict obedience to cultural standarts [^6]: Let's not go there I tried to banish this incident forever from my memory.