Alexander's

Just before I left Japan a friend of mine grabbed me and said:

Alex, now that you have a really cute girlfriend you are not allowed to gain any weight back home! I don’t want to see you with a belly like a grandfather when you come back!¹

After coming back some of my friends commented on my newfound slimness — a BMI of 19 apparently is quite nice to have as a guy— others noticed this too, but preferred to call my great looks scrawny. Anyway I was quite satisfied with my looks, at least for the the first one or two weeks in Austria.

Here Ali here take a cookie.

Eva — my brother Georg’s girlfriend — is always looking out for me. So sweet, she is even bringing me chocolate covered Lebkuchen² with some delicious filling — really tasty!

I eat one, but then remember the warning of my friend and I know I already gained weight in the few weeks I’m back. Better cut back a bit.

Five minutes later Georg stands in my room, grasping my belly and exclaiming:

Ali you’ve grown fat! I guess now you can eat all the cookies you want, it won’t matter anyway.

Sure there now is a tiny bit more of me where before no unnecessary layer was hindering the view of my belly muscle. But honestly who cares I never had any muscle to speak of anyway, so nothing lost and a insulation-layer gained!

Sadly I do care. I start to wonder how much weight I really gained since coming back. There is a scale in our bathroom, but I dare not to mount it. No I have a much better idea. I’ll just shoot a photo and forget all about my belly and the associated problems.

5 minutes later I have an acceptable photo and a heap of chocolate covered cookie lying on my bed, but then I notice I can’t really put back in the box. Who want’s to eat a cookie that was already touched by someone else?

Oh well at least do not to worry about the cookies in the photo — I assure you they have all been liberated after their participation in the photo shoot. I’d never throw away perfectly fine food.